Parenting through tough times will cause us to question ourselves and God’s plan for our lives. However, the key is to stay the course, adjust as needed, and understand that parenting isn’t for cowards. Mistakes will be made, hard lessons will be learned, and inevitably your child will find fault in some of your decisions. Don’t give up……our children are depending on us.
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Recently acclaimed music video producer, Aswad Ayinde, was sentenced to 90 years in prison for raping his six daughters over the course of 20+ years. Ayinde fathered six children with his daughters, two of whom died in the home and were subsequently buried by Ayinde. The mother of the girls claimed she lived in constant fear of Ayinde and cites fear as the reason she allowed him to carry out his heinous behavior.
Many questions flood my mind when I ponder the trauma these girls were subjected to well into their adult lives. I can’t even begin to imagine the hell they endured being abused by the person who was supposed to be their biggest protector. Not to mention the disdain that must have developed towards their mother once they realized she wasn’t going to come to their rescue. It is utterly unimaginable that parents could carry out such unconscionable acts against their own kids!
The truth is however, this type of evil, vile, and deviant behavior is carried out everyday in homes across America. Everywhere from small town USA to the projects; likely in my neighborhood and yours. These kids are waiting for someone, anyone to take notice of the oddities surrounding these families; kids who aren’t allowed to play outside, they appear fearful, or present with unexplainable bruising and other injuries. Granted, these things alone aren’t evidence that abuse is occurring, but it won’t hurt to give yourself permission to consider the possibility and pay closer attention to determine if anything is awry.
Often times it is because we are all so conditioned to “mind our own business” that we ignore our intuitions. It is impolite to even consider that someone we know could be capable, let alone involved in such behavior. But, we owe it to these children to take a second look because while millions of fans were singing along to Ayinde’s Killing Me Softly video masterpiece, his children were singing the chorus and meant every word of it!
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I was listening to the victim impact statement from one of Ariel Castro’s captives today, and while she clearly and rightfully holds contempt for the man who stole years of her life, she victoriously proclaimed that he, nor his satanic behavior, will continue to define her. My spirit stood in applause for her conviction because she has made the decision to take back her life. Will it be easy? Of course not! But…..she recognizes that her healing is directly tied to her ability to stop seeing herself as his victim, and instead declare herself a survivor.
This young woman will no doubt be in therapy for years and will fight for her healing each and every day because of the depth of the trauma she experienced. However, she has decided to take control of healing and she is starting by taking back her power! She literally stood flat footed in the presence of the evil that tried to destroy her and declared, “You can’t control me anymore.” This was a huge step on her road to recovery.
May the Lord continue to heal her (and all survivors)…mind, body, soul, and spirit.
