I was reading a post today and a young woman was sharing that she had been sexually abused at the age of seven by her uncle. She said the abuse went on for several years. When she told her mother, the mom told him to apologize and hug her and all was well!  The woman went on to say that she was healed because of her faith and she had learned to forgive him.

Dozens of people commented by saying, “Amen.” Now, while I get that we should most definitely support this young woman for having survived a horrific childhood, I was pissed that no one was stating the obvious; how in the world did this mother think that an apology and a hug was all that this baby needed? And furthermore, what the heck does justice have to do with forgiveness?

So let me deal with this is a couple different phases….

1) Amen the fact that this woman has survived, but don’t overlook the obvious. Everyone reading that post should have been outraged that this girl was sexually abused and nobody did anything about it.

We have to stop acting as though an Amen and a prayer is enough because its not! We have to start speaking up and speaking out about the adults who allow these predators to get a pass for their actions simply because they share some DNA with the parent or child.

2) The fact that this man was not brought to justice simply means that while this child’s abuse ended, the trauma was yet beginning for another precious child. Research shows that these predators don’t just stop abusing kids because they get caught. Oh no….they can have hundreds of victims in their lifetime, so by giving them a pass, you literally give them license, opportunity, and means to abuse over and over.

3) Where did we get the idea that forgiveness meant there was no accountability for one’s actions? The bible does speak of forgiveness as a characteristic of being God-like, but it was never intended to give sexual predators a get out of jail free card. You can forgive (clearly those who know me are well aware that I have issues with forgiving these folks, but that’s just me), but you still call the police and allow the legal system to investigate and prosecute. I don’t believe there are any crowns being given out in Heaven for being so forgiving that you would allow someone to sexually abuse your child and not hold them accountable.

4) If The Lord speaks of it being better to throw yourself off of a cliff with a stone tied around your neck than to hurt one of the children, do you not think there wouldnt be some culpability for those who also turned a blind eye to a child being hurt? Even with all the well-intentioned faith in the world, I just have to believe that God expects more from us when we discover a predator in our midst; esp when they have already abused a child.

5) If one part of the body hurts, then we all hurt. So lets talk this through….if you as a believer knows The Lord is concerned about the children, doesn’t that make them part of the body too? And if they be part of the body, shouldn’t our interests be rooted in protecting them, and not the predator? After all, the predator is clearly not part of the body of believers or they wouldn’t be sexually abusing kids!!! So why the heck do so called bible quoting and bible believing Christians go to such great lengths to protect the devil and his imps?

6) What message are we sending the child when we tell them to just forgive uncle so and so for raping her? How about, uncle so and so’s demonic sexual pleasure is more important than her own right not to be violated. How about, that she has no control over what happens to her body and anyone can do with her as they please. How about, the family is more concerned with uncle so and so’s sick behind than her physical, mental and emotional well-being.

So what’s my point? Stop acting like faith without works is going to produce any kind of results! We are going to have to pray for sexual abuse to end AND make predators accountable for their actions. Our religion doesnt absolve us from responsibility – it demands that we take responsibility! That means our brothers, fathers, cousins, uncles, teachers, clergymen, and family friends are going to have to be outed for the predators that they are and required to face the consequences.  Take a wimpy stance when you’re being talked about, being lied on, or overlooked for your talents, but don’t be a wimp when it comes to protecting the babies. If we don’t do it, who will?